tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-43519530362982915782011-04-21T20:13:24.810-07:00Journaling the loss of my relationship with God.cshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00078209111984674417noreply@blogger.comBlogger21100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4351953036298291578.post-46903978703909279702008-06-23T14:33:00.000-07:002008-06-23T14:45:04.069-07:00I think the thing I hate about what I'm going through is the effect it could potentially have on those around me. I do not talk about this struggle specifically because I don't want to be a seed of doubt in the faith of another. Just in the last few days, my wife has expressed that where I'm at spiritually is having a negative effect on her faith. "Aren't I supposed to turn to you for spiritual leadership?" she asked. "Where do I turn now?" she added.<br /><br />I try very hard not to discuss my pain, because sharing it inevitably leads to describing why I know longer believe in God. And apparently, the simple fact that I no longer believe is a stumbling block for too many.<br /><br />My best friend (who is the only person I feel comfortable discussing this with) tells me that if my own struggles are that much of a impediment to the faith of others then their faith was not very strong in the first place. While I agree (kind of), I nonetheless don't want to aid anyone in dismantling their relationship with God.<br /><br />I don't even know how to deal with my kids. I still pray for them at night, but that feels so wrong.<br /><br />Who am I kidding? It all feels wrong.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4351953036298291578-4690397870390927970?l=thelongwalkaway.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>cshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00078209111984674417noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4351953036298291578.post-23321255081388241062008-06-18T07:39:00.000-07:002008-06-18T07:52:44.782-07:00I lost my faith in God within the last year.<br /><br />This blog is my journey to explore, what is to me, a traumatic event. I hope to record this journey in an attempt to make sense out of something of which I'm quite far from divining any sense.<br /><br />If you're looking for Christian bashing, look elsewhere. I envy those with faith. I miss what my relationship with God once brought into my life.<br /><br />If you're looking to convert me, or preach to me the errors of my way, I would also suggest you look elsewhere. I was a hardcore, fundamentalist Christian for quite a long time. I know doctrine. I know what the Word says regarding maintaining a relationship with God. Christians many decades my senior have talked with me, trying to walk me through this crisis. I don't want your advice. I don't want your admonitions.<br /><br />I write this for me, because I am FAR from coming to terms with this loss. And I write this for others that may be sharing the same journey, hoping I'm not alone.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4351953036298291578-2332125508138824106?l=thelongwalkaway.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>cshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00078209111984674417noreply@blogger.com0